Two small tour groups were attacked today by disoriented polar bears in Western Arizona. Scientists from around the intellectual community rushed to the defense of the harmless-looking beasts while survivors of the ferocious attacks tried to understand the senseless slaughter of their backpacking comrades.
In our never ending quest to bring the most important travel information to our readers at The Wise Tourist, your fearless reporter went to the tragic local in the dry, dusty desert of western Arizona to learn firsthand the nightmare surrounding the attack of the disoriented polar bears.
The small tour group guided by the legendary naturalist, Running Twig, was the first to see the polar bears searching for sea otters. The sightings seemed suspicious to some, as long-time residents of the area have long known that arctic sea otters are rarely seen in western Arizona. Scholars closely monitoring the event scoff at the notion that arctic sea otters do not make their way to western Arizona. Even polar bears, the gentle giants from the cold white North, know that. Evidence dating back to the beginning of time show evidence of great serpents once roamed the waterways in what is now the Grand Canyon. Why wouldn’t there be sea otters there, too?
The second tour group, a collection of odd-balls and misfits from Japan, were particularly hard hit by the attack. Speaking to one of the survivors through an interpreter, one man, too embarrassed to disclose his name, said he remembers little of the attack, although it seemed as if the mighty polar bear was sending a message to him telepathically. He thought the bear was saying softly, “This is for my fellow creature the great sperm whale, my brother. You have your last plate of blubber”.
Perhaps the polar bear just like hot weather. Maybe they don’t like those polar ice caps after all.
Next time, take a cruise.
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